*** IMPORTANT: This post discusses suicidal thoughts. If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123 (free, 24/7) before reading further.***
I’ve Been In That Place
I’m going to say something that doesn’t get said enough in the T1 diabetes community: T1D can push you to a place where you wonder whether life is worth living. Where the relentless, exhausting, never-ending demands of the condition make you think: what’s the point?
I know, because I’ve been there.
At the worst of my experience with frequent hypos and the depression they triggered, I was having thoughts I didn’t want to have. “What’s the fucking point of being alive?” “This isn’t living. This is just existing.” They weren’t plans. They were a kind of exhausted despair. But they were real, and they were frightening.
What pulled me back was a single, clear thought: I just can’t carry on like this. You either live your life, or you give up and die. And I chose life. Not because everything was suddenly fine — it wasn’t — but because something in me wasn’t ready to stop.
If you’re reading this and those thoughts sound familiar, I want you to know: you are not alone. You are not broken. And this is not the end of your story.
Why T1D And Suicidal Thoughts Are More Connected Than People Admit
Research consistently shows that people with Type 1 diabetes have significantly higher rates of depression and suicidal ideation than the general population. This is not weakness. It is a predictable response to an extraordinarily demanding condition.
The physical effects of hypoglycaemia alone — the neurochemical aftermath, the exhaustion, the mood dysregulation — can push a person into a dark place even when nothing else in their life is wrong. Add the grief of the diagnosis, the relentless management burden, the social isolation of a condition nobody around you truly understands, and the shame spiral that comes from blaming yourself for imperfect numbers — and it becomes less surprising that some T1Ds reach a breaking point.
What is surprising is how rarely it’s talked about.
The Shame That Keeps T1Ds Silent
Most T1Ds who reach this place don’t tell anyone. Not their diabetes team. Not their family. Not their friends. Because the shame is layered: shame about the thoughts themselves, shame about struggling with a condition they “should” be managing by now, shame about being a burden.
That silence is dangerous. And it’s completely understandable. And it needs to be broken.
If you are having thoughts of suicide or of not wanting to be here, you are not a burden for having them. You are a person carrying an enormous weight who deserves support. Please tell someone.
If You Are In Crisis Right Now
Please stop reading and reach out:
- Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24 hours, 7 days a week)
- Crisis text line: text SHOUT to 85258
- Your GP — call them today and tell them what’s happening
- A&E if you feel unsafe right now
You do not have to be “bad enough” to ask for help. Reaching out when thoughts are still thoughts — before they become something more — is exactly the right time.
What Getting Through It Looked Like For Me
There was no single dramatic turning point, it was a gradual, deliberate choice to live — and then making that choice again, and again, and again on the harder days.
Part of it was addressing the underlying cause: the frequent hypos that were driving the depression. Working with my diabetes team to reduce their frequency made a real difference to my mental state.
Part of it was the cognitive shift: from treating my T1D as the enemy to deciding to live alongside it. From fighting a condition that wasn’t going anywhere, to finding a way to have a life that included it.
And part of it was doing the emotional work — processing the grief, the anger, the fear that had accumulated over years of living with the condition without adequate support.
The Silent Link Between Diabetes and Suicide
The connection between diabetes and suicide is real. Managing this condition demands endless attention, leaving many exhausted and mentally drained. Studies reveal higher suicide risks among people living with diabetes compared to the general population.
The Psychological Toll of Endless Numbers
Blood glucose readings often feel like verdicts. Too high, too low, too chaotic. Each number whispers judgment, crushing self-worth. That mental toll builds into dangerous thoughts.
The Burden of Invisible Pain
Diabetes hides beneath the surface. Outsiders see a “healthy” person, while inside you fight invisible wars. That hidden suffering intensifies loneliness.
Talking to Friends and Family Without Fear
A simple phrase like “I’m not okay” can unlock support. You don’t need perfect words. You only need courage to speak truth.
Isolation and Why Nobody Understands
Even loved ones cannot always comprehend the 24/7 grind. Their confusion deepens isolation. That isolation feeds despair until silence feels safer than honesty.
Why “What’s the Point?” Feels Familiar
After years of self-monitoring, appointments, and exhaustion, thoughts like “what’s the point?” become common. These thoughts can open the door to suicidal ideation.
Shame, Stigma, and the Dark Spiral
Talking about suicide carries shame. Talking about diabetes carries stigma. Together, they create a spiral of silence that suffocates hope.
What I Want You to Know
The darkness you’re in right now is not your permanent residence, it’s a place you’ve arrived at after carrying too much for too long without the right support.
You are not lazy or weak, and you are not failing at your T1 diabetes. You are exhausted by a condition that asks more of you every single day than most people will ever understand.
And you deserve support that understands that. Not generic mental health advice. Not platitudes. Someone who gets what it’s actually like to live with T1D — from the inside.
If and when you’re ready, I’m here for that conversation. No pressure. Just a space where the full reality of your experience with T1D can be acknowledged.
You can also contact me directly here. I go through and reply to all my messages daily
👉 If you feel suicidal now, stop reading and call Samaritans at 116 123 immediately. You deserve light. You deserve life.
Keep being you!
Pete 🙂
T1 Diabetes Mindset Coach